Dave’s 3-Word Review:
Kill Yourself Instead
There are clear positives found within mini-series as an alternative to movies or television shows. Often times, these series can be described as a “happy medium” between the two for those that just can’t decide which one is better. The positives are often found to be defined as – like a TV show, but without the 42-minute time constraint and fewer episodes in order to more efficiently make use of the limited budget. Unfortunately, the positives seem to only accompany the newer or more modern mini-series. The older projects are just long and have no budget anyway, much like the BBC/PBS adaptation of Pride and Prejudice starring Colin Firth.
Let’s just make the plot quick – it’s a quaint romance. Toss in some British humor and raised pinkies whilst sipping tea and you got yourself a three-hundred minute movie. For those of you that are less inclined in the area of mathematics, that’s five hours. To be honest, this was a class project. The class had to watch it and write about it, and this is my writing about it. No the class didn’t finish the story because it is five hours. So for me to describe the plot would be unfair to all of you, for that, I will borrow IMDb.com’s description.
“Jane Austen’s classic novel about the prejudice that occurred between the 19th century classes and the pride which would keep lovers apart.”
Well, that’s real detailed… It would appear that even the Internet Movie Database has just about as much excitement for this project that I do, and apparently what all of the actors do on screen. In short, ladies and gentlemen…this thing (right from the moment you press play) is boring. Heck, even the menu exudes boredom. There is nothing even remotely attractive about it. The only person who could truly enjoy it was those that are actually monumental fans of the original piece of literature.
To be honest, I tried hard to listen and understand this, but I am a man of quality. I can tell that the actors tried hard, and the writing was very well done, but it looked like it came out in the sixties, while it really came out in 1995. The frame rate was clearly 60fps, while your standard film is 24fps…and for good reason. There is a reason why a lot of people couldn’t stand Peter Jackson’s The Hobbit at 48fps. It just looks wrong. This mini-series looked so bad, and was so long, that it just couldn’t hold my attention. It does not matter how well done everything was done behind the camera or how hard the actors tried if the audience doesn’t care about anything that’s going on. So again, to be honest, I had no idea what was going on, and am over-ecstatic about the fact that we didn’t have to lose five hours of our life on it.
I know that I did not finish the entire thing, and that normally disqualifies me on my opinion, but this is less of a movie review than it is a warning as well as rant. For being taught so many years in grade school through college to start a story with an interesting hook, I am surprised at how willing a school is to show something with the exact opposite – a reason to stop. I am not exaggerating the truth when I tell you that I sat and watched people leave the classroom as the video played. Clearly, it was not sticking with anyone.
Heed my warning. This thing is terrible. Go off and find Keira Knightley’s version. I haven’t seen it, but literally any version has to be better than this flop. My dear friends, stay away.