3 Geezers (2013)

3-Geezers

Dave’s 3-Word Review:
Stale & Bizarre

Are you the type of person that listens to recommendations on movie websites, such as Netflix.com? Ever wonder how they determine which movies to recommend? Well, if you are a fan of a movie…let’s just say Grumpy Old Men, it may start looking for comedies starring old people or perhaps movies starring the same actors. So you may get The Bucket List, Cocoon, or J.K. Simmon’s film, 3 Geezers! Are these recommendations really any good, though? Or should they consider the element of old people as well as a similar movie rating? 3 Geezers! had quite a bit of a lower rating than Grumpy Old Men, and in such, did not feel like it belonged in the recommendations section of a popular movie website.

J. Kimble is an actor that feels is being forced into a role that his wife’s baby brother wrote. This role requires Kimble to play a man in his eighties, so to prepare for the role, Kimble brings along a camera crew to an old-people’s home to investigate their lives for the part. The thing is, these people are not what he expected…at all. It tells him that maybe the best years are yet to come, and along the way, Kimble runs into some familiar faces of Hollywood.

The “K” in J.K. Simmons is indeed Kimble, so in a way J.K. Simmons is playing himself in this role, as is every other comedian that shows up. That part was actually smart, because who can be funnier than themselves? The only problem was that the advertising on the movie poster was a blatant lie. If you look closely at the poster, our actors joining the team never took promo shots for it. Those were older pictures that had nothing to do with this project, and every other actor than J.K. Simmons shows up for maybe ten seconds at the most each. That’s right, everyone, the poster insinuates an ensemble comedy, but everyone that shows up…just shows up as a cameo. The people that were actually in the movie the most…the old people…aren’t in the poster. That is false advertisement, and they should be ashamed.

Next, the entire plot is trying hard to survive off of the sheer idea of old people acting young, and J.K. Simmons putting on his best John Krasinsky impersonation as a reaction to all of the stupid stuff the old people do. That’s it. The plot is so weak, which isn’t undiscovered territory for mockumentaries, but it is usually done in a hilarious light…presentation is key here, and this had a horrific presentation. J.K. Simmons cannot work very well with a mockumentary project.

This film isn’t even that long, either. In fact, the movie doesn’t even reach an hour and a half, yet it feels much longer because it just won’t let up. It makes sense for old people to be doing young and stupid things…that alone is funny, and might even do well as a thirty-second viral video on Youtube…for a couple of days. It just doesn’t work well as a full feature-length movie. It gets old after maybe…the first scene. What will happen is you will be waiting patiently for something to happen, because you know it will…it has to…there are huge actors on the poster, right? Nothing happens, the actors are there in boring scenes for about 10 seconds each…that is when you get disappointed, friends.

It just isn’t worth it to pay money to watch this, even if you’re already using a subscription service. Don’t pay to buy this, don’t even pay to rent this. If you get the chance to watch it for free, skip it.

3 Geezers! comes to Blu-Ray and DVD on Aug. 13!

 

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6 thoughts on “3 Geezers (2013)

  1. Talk about a blatant LIE and someone who should be ashamed of themselves. I saw this movie, loved it, along with 67% of the viewers (you fail to mention but do provide that statistic).

    The celebrities are all in it more than 10 seconds each. You LIE when you said each less than that. I rented again and broke it down for you and your “readers”:
    TIM ALLEN 1 MINUTE 14 SECONDS
    BRECKIN MEYER 3 MINUTES 12 SECONDS
    MIKE OMALLEY 2 MINUTES 17 SECONDS
    RANDY COUTURE 3 MINUTES 45 SECONDS
    SCOTT CAAN 1 MINUTE 15 SECONDS
    JK SIMMONS 32 MINUTES 23 SECONDS
    SAM RAIMI 1 MINUTE 2 SECONDS
    KEVIN POLLAK 1 MINUTE 15 SECONDS

    what say you now? Do you feel hip, trendy and cool because you hate something a majority of the people love?

    • Lol…the posters are the lie. It clearly promotes the movie as if – these characters are all equally important. Their little importance in the movie *feels* like ten seconds. If you have ever seen an ensemble cast comedy picture, than you would be aware at how anyone looking at the poster and reading the main plot description on IMDb can confuse this as an ensemble cast movie. It’s just not. They have special – tiny – little scenes that are just random and serve no importance to the rest.

      It is clear to me that because they didn’t show the old actors on the cover of the poster – they thought the best way to promote it was to show all the famous people instead. False advertisement 101.

      And btw – 67% is not a majority of people loving something. That’s a majority of people settling and dealing with what they got.

  2. This movie was beyond bad on so many levels that it should essentially be written off as a non-movie. Actually, I think you were being really nice in your review.

      • Why are you grateful someone agreed with you? What is your agenda here?

        Just read in an industry rag that this low budget movie already did 7 figures on VOD in first 3 months.

      • I hope you realize that how much money a movie makes does not reflect the quality of how good or bad it is. I’ve seen some stinkers that made a bunch of money. Why? It’s really easy. The promotion, either it’s hyped, or is promoted based on the cast. Just like 3 Geezers! – promoted as if it’s got all these great actors in it, heck yes, I’d watch it.

        Faulty promotion. It’s more about old guys trying to act young and that’s apparently funny. The actors in it were there for a very short time and it wasn’t focused on them at all.

        So…I really couldn’t care less if it made 10 billion dollars.

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