Dave’s 3-Word Review
Nothing overly special.
Hey kids, pop a squat and reach for some popcorn, because Sean Connery is about to leave the building. You’d think for such a special moment in time, something would be more iconic. Instead, what you get in Diamonds Are Forever is a James Bond that’s, for a lack of a better explanation, filler. That’s not to say that this movie is really bad, per se, but it’s not all that great either. It’s pretty cool to see Connery back in the lead, but that makes me feel quite bittersweet about Lazenby’s departure, since he was a pretty decent Bond, and one flick just doesn’t feel very nice. Well, you get what you get, and that is your favorite Bond back on the silver screen, so how was it? Not the best, not the worst, somewhere in between.
After his wife was killed in On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, James Bond immediately tracks down Blofeld’s secret location and kills him…or does he? The overly-cliché tone of the film would suggest otherwise, but we feel confident enough that the job was done…I mean the man did kill Bond’s wife, which he clearly loved dearly when he was sleeping with all of those Angels of Death…anyways, after all that was taken care of, Bond is chosen to look into a diamond-smuggling gig that’s made waves when whoever the diamonds reach end up dead. So Bond looks into it and finds out the whole thing is set up by Blofeld…because he has like, clones or something.
Good title, good theme music, blah plot. It’s not that it’s really horrible, just nothing special. I think the problem is that you really don’t feel danger anymore like you used to. That and memorable scenes are practically nonexistent by now. Connery is amazing, but he’s getting old and he’s way too comfortable in his own accent that he’s never really been great at concealing anyway. It’s really neat to see him again, but I was okay with his departure. I could imagine back in the early 70s teasing a Connery returning to the role only to remove him again would be a really despicable move. One that people would be sure to be confused with. Lazenby could have played this role just fine, but it appears to me that popularity won the war over reason. The audience had to have it their way. Happy? Great, now onto another actor…
The set designs weren’t really that special. Yeah it was in America, but we have awesome places as well. I could tell when Bond was in Nevada that they went to a location clearly inspired from Area 51. Well, it was something original to fit in with the overall plot, so there were no airplane hangars or runways, but how cool would it have been in 1971 to have a movie where James Bond goes to Area 51? Area 51 had to be somewhat famous by then, more so than now, and if the movie itself actually said it by name, I think this film would have made some waves…but unfortunately, it went its own route. One that was, well, boring and anticlimactic.
Farewell, Sean Connery, we’ll see you again in the unofficial James Bond flick. We adored you as the first James Bond, but get out of here, kid, you’re botherin’ me. I say that as loving as possible, because it’s now onto Roger Moore, which I’m pretty much unfamiliar with as a whole – and change is good. Diamonds Are Forever will forever remain forgettable as Connery passes the torch to Moore.