Dave’s 3-Word Review:
What I expected.
I’ve had it with all of the mother-bleepin’ quotes about the mother-bleeping snakes on the mother-bleepin’ plane! Ah yes, Snakes on a Plane. Who wouldn’t want to watch this cult classic? I’m guessing the same people that don’t want to see Sharknado…but in my opinion…while these are both ridiculous premises, Snakes on a Plane is obviously better in pretty much every aspect. At the same time, I’m not entirely sure how they secured some of the actors in this one…wait…no…they chose it because it was easy money. Snakes on a Plane is one of the most bizzare films I’ve ever seen, and yet…that’s kind of the point.
To give you some insight as to what this insanity of a film is about, we are introduced to Sean Jones (Nathan Phillips), who ends up witnessing first-hand the murder of a federal prosecutor – and Samuel L. Jackson pops up to save this kid’s behind. The basic task was to get this kid to be an expert witness and to give testimony, but they first had to get him into the United States. The people that want him dead found out which plane they were using, and had the ingenious idea to kill this kid through a batch of poisonous snakes unleashed wildly on the plane.
Snakes on a Plane is absolutely correct. Let’s set aside the fact that in real life, snakes are no guarantee to kill any specific person. Let’s also ignore that the killer could have easily hired a hired gun to kill the kid in the first twenty minutes, and let’s just take the film as it is. As a movie, it’s absolutely bonkers, but on the other hand, the way it was done was honestly kind of smart. They knew it was stupid and they rode with it anyway…so it used a lot of really smart self-aware humor. The way the snakes operated and the things they bit and how they bit them were all pretty hilarious – and that was clearly on purpose. I have to say – that alone was a very, very good move, because the rest of the movie is more or less hogwash.
I say hogwash because the story itself is nothing more than a standard terror-in-the-air film. Something goes wrong while mid-flight, people go banana-sandwich, there is a real threat of death…and even the ending was entirely cliché as well. Sure, the way they went about it was more along the lines of an action comedy, but there’s nothing about this movie that isn’t predictable. They draw their strength on the fact that it’s more of a parody than anything else, but even parodies can be unpredictable and hold a story of their own. As far as story development goes…there’s nothing very unique here.
The snakes themselves aren’t comprised of the best computer graphics. It’s not as bad as, say, Sharknado graphics, but you can easily tell that these aren’t real snakes. Especially with some of the bigger snakes that are in all honesty, ridiculous. The least this film could do is provide good graphics for the snakes…because they needed everything they could get in order for this to be a success. You don’t want anything that would specifically turn an audience away, but unfortunately…the mere poor quality of the graphics is obvious enough to be laughable…and not in a good way.
As for the actors and characters – this is clearly a Samuel Jackson film. Let’s not kid ourselves…the story may revolve around this kid who is set to be an expert witness soon, but that kid doesn’t really do anything in the whole film…he more or less just stares at the wall and tries to get away from the snakes…but then again, so do all of the other passengers.
As a general idea, any movie that knows what it’s going for and achieves that at the bare minimum is a successful movie, and I think they did that in Snakes on a Plane. A movie has a good amount of smart self-aware comedy is still a fresh idea in Hollywood, and it’s something I’d like to continue seeing more of.
Apart from all of the self-aware silly humor, there’s really nothing strong that holds this film together. The snakes themselves aren’t only comprised of bad graphics, but even if they were great graphics, the models of the snakes and their behavior is too wildly over-the-top and unbelievable that calling them alien in nature would be more accurate. Also, the story of the film is nothing remarkable and everything we’ve already seen before in flight terror films.