Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III (1993)


Dave’s 3-Word Review:
So absolutely boring.

I’m a sucker for time travel in film. It may have gotten a little cliché here and there, but I think it’s always fun seeing the balance and chemistry between modern-day things and the past (or future). It usually creates a really nice and unique feel overall, and I honestly think the same applies for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. There was absolutely some promise as this film began, but like the others, I felt like it tries to be way more than it really needs to be, which hurts it in the long run. For instance, I actually liked the beginning of the movie, but the longer it went, the more of a hassle it was to actually watch.

So what’s the last live-action film about? Well, it turns out April randomly came across a time-travel device that when held, sends the holder into the past, while at the same time sending someone in the past into the future. So on both sides of the spectrum, you get to see modern-day characters interact with the past, while characters of the past interact with modern technology. April herself is sent into ancient Japan, where the Turtles have to follow in order to rescue her. While there, they have a limited time to get back before they are stuck forever.

So, we’ve seen films like this before, and I personally like the fact that they tried to have different perspectives from both time periods. That’s absolutely fine, and I encourage it. It actually seems pretty unique, all things considered. However, they wanted to do so much with the plot of the thing that it turned into something horrendously messy and confusing. It should have just been a simple rescue plot, but it turned into something overwhelming and way more ridiculous that I completely lost interest fast. It started off on a good note, but the rest of the film is just plain dumb.

Let’s not forget that at this point, they lost the Jim Henson suits. I wasn’t really a fan of them, but this film’s costumes were so plastic and fake-looking that I preferred the other costume set. The costumes are supposed to look better through the sequels, not worse. I felt like I was watching action figures act like idiots for an hour and a half! Plus, I don’t know how accurate this is, but I felt like there were barely any fight scenes, which is the biggest pull I have to watch the movies in the first place. I don’t know. All of the movies seem to have had had a promising concept, but none of them knew the first thing on how to properly present what they wanted to present. So in the long run, I felt like I was watching a three-hour movie, while this is only half that. I was that bored, ladies and gentlemen.

These three movies are the ones that I’ve seen before, and even though I remember liking them as a child, I couldn’t remember the first thing about any of the plots. That should tell you something. There are both good and bad kids movies out there, and the same applies for regular movies as it does kids…and how memorable they are is important. The attitude, look, and feel of the Turtles themselves are pretty iconic, but the stories of the movies were pointless and forgettable in each film. There were moments here and there where you think the movie will be alright, but it won’t matter in the long run. This actually makes me interested in the films I haven’t seen, because the Turtles themselves are actually animated. Should be interesting.

The Good:

The one and only good thing about the third film is the initial concept of time travel and switching places.

The Bad:

Literally everything else, but if I could sum it up to the most important factor, it would be that the film was simply too crowded and confusing that an already dull movie was transformed into an unbearable and pointless movie


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