Dave’s 3-Word Review:
Holy Boringness, Batman!
It’s a give or take world for me and Stephen King. I often find his stuff really strange, but either brilliant or not brilliant at all. You think of the name Stephen King, and it’s not normal to jump to the conclusion that he’s a bad author – because he’s not. But his films have almost always fallen short of his vision. I’ve heard how much he’s hated a lot of his film adaptations, and that’s understandable – but from my perspective, I don’t really read his stuff – so it’s not like that’s important to me. But A Good Marriage? What happened here? It’s reallllly…not that good.
Meet Bob and Darcy, two very normal people in a very happy marriage. They aren’t exactly stepford fake, but they do have a more or less average life on the outside – but in reality – it’s a bit different. You see, Bob is secretly a serial killer, and when Darcy finds out – living with her husband immediately hits an emotional speed bump. To make things worse, he’s not even going to try to kill her for finding out, he’s just going to creepily go back to how things were before she discovered his secret – no problem, right? Of course not!
Somewhere deep within the crevices of this film lays Stephen King’s twisted imagination. I’m not going to sit here and deny that King had some involvement, because he clearly did – it was just among a plot that’s more or less predictable and far from original. Sure, they did one thing differently – had the husband act naturally instead of murderous towards his wife. That alone is very creepy, but only for five minutes. How it’s handled afterwards is really boring, to tell the truth. Suddenly it turns from a creepy thriller into some kind of…Stockholm Syndrome thing…but not really. I felt as if it began on a stronger note, but as it progressed, we lost something and the rest was very sleepy in it’s tone – which is very sad, given the fact that it’s supposed to be a thriller.
Why is it boring, exactly? Well it has a lot of character development, which would be fine – except the wife in this film was a bit unbelievable in this department. We spend a good majority of the first half hour focusing on this woman whine and crunch her face up, and get paranoid, and blah blah blah. It’s stupid, and in all honesty – doesn’t progress the story very well – and even when it does – the actual story slows down, practically, to a complete stop. Then, it ventures into the unbelievable. Seriously, this woman is an everyday mother and wife – one who does scrapbooks (most likely), and says things like, “I made you a pie”. When she discovers her husband’s secret, she would do something very differently than what she ends up doing in real life. I don’t care how much in shock you really are.
This film is classified as a thriller, and I just have to say – this isn’t a thriller. Not by a long shot. I could tell what they were trying to do as far as making that quota, but it just doesn’t fit. I wouldn’t even call the thing suspenseful really…in fact, I don’t think the movie really fits in with any category. However, I could see the actual book getting away with everything. The story itself could be told very well in a different light – one that’s not obvious – like a book. So, if you’re reading this – I know I didn’t, but read the book to this one first.
It’s…not the worst movie in the world. It has a general idea, and it accurately portrays storytelling well enough. Also, for how much crap I give this one, the husband respectfully pulls off a creepy vibe very well.
In a word, the movie is boring. There’s too much talking and too much character development that ultimately doesn’t make a lot of sense. I can’t help but think that A Good Marriage is one of King’s most forgettable stories.