2014’s Top/Bottom 10

top-ten

We’re going to do this a little differently. This will not be the Top 10 movies, but rather Top 10 places. I review several films a year, many of which end up being scored exactly the same. Now, since these movies are apples and oranges, I can’t in my right mind rate one 90% movie over the other – so they will be grouped together via percentage. I hope that doesn’t get anyone’s panties in a twist. Good? Good.

TOP TEN

#10 (83%) – American Sniper; Boyhood; Godzilla; In Your Eyes; The Judge

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Five movies were tied in 10th place this year, and they were American Sniper, Boyhood, Godzilla, In Your Eyes and The JudgeIt already seems I’m on the right path, as few of these movies were just announced in the Oscar Nominations this year…and had it been 2013 movies, my list would be completely different than the Oscar Nominations – so there’s that. However, if I had to pick a best movie from the 83% list, it would be a shot in the dark – but I’d pick BoyhoodWhat went into the making of that movie is too amazing to ignore – no matter how good or bad the movie is. 12 years is just impressive.

#9 (84%) – 22 Jump Street

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Not every category has different movies. For 9th place, we have 22 Jump Streeta movie that wasn’t as good as the first, but still had a good amount of laughs involved simply because we like these two together and can’t wait until they make the third Jump Street movie: 23 Jump Street/Men in Black…or whatever the heck that news story said.

#8 (86%) – The Grand Budapest Hotel; The Lego Movie; The Maze Runner

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In 8th place, we have three movies – The Grand Budapest Hotel, The Lego Movieand yes, even The Maze Runner. I know what you’re thinking – how can I possibly hold the Maze Runner in such high regard? I don’t really – in fact I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t even buy it, but I did read the stories and appreciated the fact that the movie stayed pretty close to the idea of the story while maintaining its own thing at the same time – and I definitely am looking forward to the next installment. That being said, out of these movies, my favorite was The Lego Moviebut I’m pretty sure everyone prefers The Grand Budapest Hotel anyways.

#7 (87%) – Captain America: The Winter Soldier

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Talk about an impressive movie – Captain America: The Winter Soldier sort of blew me off my feet. Especially considering the fact I didn’t even really like the first movie – this was basically like The Avengers 1.2 or something. The action was intense, it had an intriguing storyline, and a lot of great actors showed up to make it all happen. I was definitely glad I saw it.

#6 (88%) – Gone Girl

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While I probably won’t give in and watch it again anytime soon, Gone Girl was still an impressive drama that kept surprising you and getting deeper and darker as it moved along. It felt original when it really wasn’t, and that’s something it should be proud of.

#5 (89%) – The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies

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Okay, so when you have the last movie in a franchise, it’s probably going to go out in a bang, which is exactly what happened in The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies – a very exciting and edge-of-your seat action/adventure film that fits very well with pretty much anything that Peter Jackson does. Very good movie, check it out, people.

#4 (92%) – Noah

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Ranking at #4, at least for me, is Noahone of the first secular films I’ve seen based on a biblical story, which is something I’ve waited a very long time to see. Not every story in the bible has to be preached, sometimes you can enjoy a story for what it is – a story.

#3 (95%) – Interstellar

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It was flawed, yes, but Interstellar was still really impressive and entertaining in a lot of good ways. If you were expecting it to be something you normally see from Christopher Nolan, you might be a little disappointed, but as it is – it’s still a great time at the movies.

#2 (96%) – Dawn of the Planet of the Apes; Guardians of the Galaxy

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These two were probably the most enjoyable movies of the year – but also just really well done in general. Dawn of the Planet of the Apes and Guardians of the Galaxy were so good this year – I just had to have these Blu-Rays.

#1 (97%) – X-Men: Days of Future Past

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Hear me out, okay. I’m not saying it’s the best movie of the year, but I am saying I rated it the highest. That may be because X-Men: Days of Future Past was my most-anticipated film of the year, and it may just be because I love X-Men – all I know is I was in love with this movie when I was at this theater – and I have no idea why I don’t own it yet.

BOTTOM 10

#10 (44%) – Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones; Need for Speed; Heaven is for Real; Rio 2

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Are you ready for the worst of the worst of 2014? Well, it starts with a bang – as four movies tie in the 10th spot – Paranormal Activity: The Marked Ones, Need for Speed, Heaven is For Realand Rio 2all very diverse and different kind of movies, but all equally as bad, standing at the horrible score of 44%. Shame on them – and as always, stay away.

#9 (41%) – Left Behind; Annabelle; The Angriest Man in Brooklyn

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We all kind of guessed Left Behind would absolutely suck, even Annabelle made no sense to be made, but it hurts my heart to say one of Robin Williams’ final films, The Angriest Man in Brooklyn was also one of the worst movies of the year on the same year he passed…poor guy.

#8 (40%) – V/H/S: Viral

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I can’t say I’ve ever been the biggest fan of this franchise, nor any other collection movie…but the first two had a sort of…strange appeal to them. V/H/S: Viral went off the band wagon though, and completely forgot everything that made the others as successful as they were…it was just…soooo bad.

#7 (38%) – Tusk

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TuskThis is one of the weirdest movies I have ever seen in my life – and not in a good way. The main problem with this movie was that it was based off of a podcast episode where a group of hosts ranted randomly about a story – and here we were. It was odd and I think it changed my life for the worse.

#6 (37%) – God’s Not Dead

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I can’t even begin to explain how bad God’s Not Dead is. It has nothing to do with religion or what I choose to believe, and it has everything to do with film – and how this is so bad. It is based on a Newsboys song – and it’s about a college student that has to prove God’s Not Dead (obviously) – and it ignores the legal aspects that would’ve made this movie really, really interesting – and turned it into a preach-fest.

#5 (34%) – Jingle All the Way 2

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I’m just going to put this here – Jingle All the Way 2 – and say that Larry the Cable Guy needs to stop stealing and destroying perfectly good movies.

#4 (33%) – Think Like a Man Too

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So, Think Like a Man Too is the sequel to Steve Harvey’s self-help book – already that sounds like a bad idea. Even worse, I’ve already completely forgotten what this movie was about. I know enough to say that the first one worked because it felt like a book with chapters and that it was going somewhere because of that – and what the sequel did was just take the characters somewhere else and remove the best parts of the first. Congratulations, guys, you suck.

#3 (32%) – Planes: Fire & Rescue

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Haven’t they learned from Cars 2? The first movie already sucked, so why did they even make Planes: Fire & Rescue? This was basically just – hey kids, look at all the colors and physical humor, but don’t take anything from it. It was pathetic.

#2 (28%) – A Haunted House 2

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A Haunted House 2 I don’t even know what else to say about that. STOP MAKING STUPID PARODIES.

#1 (19%) – A Million Ways to Die in the West

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I’m seeing a common theme with these worst movies list – I can’t remember the plots very well…any of them really. They were so bad and so forgettable that it’s not even worth mentioning. It’s too bad, because I liked Ted and was looking forward to seeing A Million Ways to Die in the Westbut I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen something so…unfunny.

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