Review – Halloween II (2009)

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pxei2go7b2d5vyavmkavhypqecwHey guys, I did it! I found the worst Halloween movie of the franchise! Ironically following what I consider one of the best in the franchise, Halloween II does something spectacularly stupid. It’s as if Rob Zombie didn’t want to make this movie, the studio forced him to, so he spat in all their faces and created the biggest turd in all of Halloween history. I’m floored. Let’s get into it.

“Michael Myers is still at large and no less dangerous than ever. After a failed reunion to reach his baby sister at their old home, Laurie Strode is immediately taken to a hospital to be treated by the wounds that had been afflicted by her brother a few hours ago. However, Michael isn’t too far off and will continue his murdering ‘Halloween’ rampage until he gets his sister all to himself.” – written by anonymous (IMDb)

Give me a moment to gather my thoughts…okay what now? After seeing the first film in Rob Zombie’s retelling, I was hopeful for the second one, and my hopes were still high when the movie started out immediately after the first film – something the original series also did. That part was pretty great, the rest…not so much. I don’t even know where to begin, so I guess I’ll start with the obvious – Michael Myers is seeing the ghost of his dead mother and a random flipping white horse. What’s more, so is Laurie. I’m sure it’s supposed to be symbolic or something, but it’s a little more tangible and random than it probably should be. This entire shared hallucination is responsible for the rest of the film, which is a completely random, cliched, and disrespectful disaster.

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Everything that happens to Laurie in this film is slightly reminiscent to what they did with Jamie in Halloween 5 – the psychic link and familial bond. That much I sort of understand, but it wasn’t ever supposed to happen to Laurie, and because it happened here – they had to try to make it work…and it doesn’t. It’s way too paranormal and unexplained Rob Zombie bull crap and it doesn’t mix well with this movie at all. Then, there’s Loomis. As I mentioned in the first review, Loomis needs to be Myers’s opposite. A caring person who takes it personally when he doesn’t get through to Michael. So when he murders, Loomis feels a tinge of responsibility. NOT HERE! Loomis is a bonafide douchebag who wrote two books about Michael and is profiting off of the murders. While that’s sort of the point in this movie, it should not have been. That’s just plain disrespect and it throws the dynamic all out of whack.

About an hour into the film, I lost all interest in the movie, and I’ve never wanted to turn something off in my entire life. Just turn it off, don’t review it, and forget it ever happened. I couldn’t though, I got through all the others, I could get through this, and because I did, I must warn you not to watch the 2009 film, Halloween II. The only thing considered horror here is the experience watching this atrocity.

RATING: 1.7/10

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