Review – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017


pirates-of-the-caribbean-5-57f3a342b5c28It’s vacation time, faithful readers. I was initially planning for this next week to be reviewed on movies about books, and you can see the list of planned reviews in the sidebar. Most of these films I’ve already reviewed previously, though. So, if you’d like to see my initial reviews of these films, check out my A-Z list up top. Plus, had I reviewed Ruby Sparks this week, it would be the third time reviewing it. I will be taking this week off to spend time with my family. Instead, I leave you with a review of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales, the fifth film in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. So, how well does it fit in with the rest? Let’s go ahead and talk about the plot.

Captain Jack Sparrow finds the winds of ill-fortune blowing even more strongly when deadly ghost pirates led by his old nemesis, the terrifying Captain Salazar, escape from the Devil’s Triangle, determined to kill every pirate at sea…including him. Captain Jack’s only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artifact that bestows upon its possessor total control over the seas. (IMDb)

They took a step in the right direction with this film, but at the same time, they lost a bit of the magic at the same time. I really liked the fact that they brought a bit of the darkness back with the ghostly pirates, and I really liked how they added a male and female side character that clearly meant to balance Jack out like in the original trilogy. They were definitely thinking logically and taking complaints from the last film into consideration, but in doing so, they sorta lost some of that Pirates magic. I mostly noticed that, while watching, nothing felt new or fresh…just mostly rehashed stuff that unfortunately feels like it overstayed its welcome. I wasn’t sucked into this film, and I feel really bad for saying that.

This is all just first impressions though…let’s break down Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales to interpret the stars, shall we?


Acting – 1|Characters – 2|Casting – 2|Importance – 2|Chemistry – 1

First up, we have the people category, starting off with the subcategory of acting. The acting was neither terrible or great, mostly typical and forgettable, which is basically what you normally find in this franchise. These characters were diverse, unique, and most importantly, memorable. I am convinced that nobody else can play these characters. Absolutely every character in this film seemingly had an important role adding to the direction of the plot, I was impressed. They all had a reason, they had a purpose, they had a history, and I love it. As far as the chemistry goes in this film, there wasn’t much of it. While it was fine, no one really cares about the relationships in this film.

Dialogue – 2|Balanced – 1|Story – 1|Originality – 1|Interesting – 2

Next up, we have the writing category, starting off with the dialogue, which, like most of the other films in this franchise, is witty and humorous. Now, this film isn’t as well-balanced as it could’ve easily been. It loses its own focus here and there, making the film feel a little bit longer than it should normally feel. When it comes to the actual story, I can’t really say it’s the best. It’s got a few things here and there that I think a lot of people will enjoy, but it’s certainly not the greatest story ever told. Is the film original? Well, I think elements of the film definitely feel fresh and new, but there’s always an itching feeling that we’ve seen this film before…so it’s not as original as it could’ve been. Was this movie interesting? Of course it was, don’t be silly. I was all-in for this one.

BTS SCORE – 9/10
Visuals – 2|Directing – 2|Editing – 1|Advertisement – 2|Music – 2

Next up, we’re taking a look behind-the-scenes, starting with the visuals, and the visuals were pretty darn great here. Somebody knew what they were doing. The director actually did a really good job here. Completely based off of what they did, the movie looks and feels great and authentic on a different level. Nothing challenging or difficult in the editor’s desk, folks. They stitched the movie together just fine, but there’s nothing else to report here because even a kid could probably do it. As with most films, I consider this film to be exactly as-advertised, which is good. For the music, as with the other films, you always know when you hear a Pirates song – always iconic and recognizable, full points there.

Introduction – 2|Inciting Incident – 1|Obstacles – 2|Climax – 2|Falling Action – 1

Next up, we’re chugging right along into the narrative arc category, which is one of the easiest categories to score highly in. First up, we’re looking at the introduction, which did perfectly. By the inciting incident, we knew who everyone was, the basic setting, and what’s going on in these people’s lives. How about the inciting incident? It was okay, I’ll put it that way. It wasn’t really all that clear because you never really feel like there is a ‘never going back’ moment, but it is what it is. How were the obstacles? Totally fine. There were plenty of clear obstacles in the way, just as you’d come to expect. How was the climax? The climax was perfect. It felt like a perfect culmination of everything else put together, just as it should. Alright, so how was the falling action? Well, it started to calm things down a little bit, but other than that, not the best. You never get the sensation that they are returning to a new norm, so it’s not a complete falling action.

Rewatchability – 2|Fun – 2|Impulse/Buy – 1|Impulse/Talk – 0|Sucks Audience IN – 0

Next up, we’re asking if this film is any good to be considered entertaining when all is said and done. First up, we ask if it is rewatchable, to which I say…yes! I would have no issues checking out this movie again! Is this a film I would consider fun while watching? Oh yeah, absolutely. Whatever technical problems the movie may or may not have, it is definitely fun, and that’s something no one can take away from it. Would I like to buy this movie? Well, maybe…if it was either on sale for cheaper or if I just bought the digital copy. What about talking to somebody about the film that hasn’t heard of it? I really have no impulse to tell anybody about it, honestly. Does this suck you in, though? No, not really. If anything, it has more opportunities to push you out than suck you in.

Franchise – 10|Action – 10|Comedy – 5|Sequel – 5|Halfway Decent – 10

Finally, we are onto the specialty categories that I wrote down before watching the film. First of all, how does this fit in, in general, in the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise? Well, like I said, I think they added just enough elements to make this feel like it should feel again. It’s dark, it’s humorous, it’s got a lot of action (full points for action) and makes plenty of references to the original films, full points for the franchise. So yes, it is humorous, but even so, the jokes just don’t hit as hard as they used to. Most of them felt aged. As for a sequel, does this add new things and feel necessary? Not really. Like I said, they may have added a new mythical element and bad guy, but it mostly feels unneeded and overdone. Finally, is it halfway decent? Of course.

TOTAL – 77/100


3 thoughts on “Review – Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales (2017

  1. I think they screwed up Jack, which I think hurt the movie a lot. In the earlier movies, Jack was comic relief, but he was also not a drunk buffoon. He was actually pretty smart and witty, and this movie just made him feel completely washed up. Like a bad imitation of Jack Sparrow instead of the real thing. Even Pirates 4 was better with that.

    It was also missing something I particularly noticed while watching Pirates 2 and 3 recently. In those movies, during big action scenes, the characters continually keep talking, making jokes, and advancing the plot. In this movie, the action had very little dialogue and felt like filler sometimes. And really, the only memorable action scenes for me were the scenes on the island at the beginning, with the bank robbery and execution escape. After that it got less interesting. The villain was good, and the movie is definitely worth watching for the very beginning and end, but they really did not capture the right feel of the series, despite having some elements that should have made it work better.

    72% for me, same as the last.

    Btw, I think you should add a “wrap up” section to your reviews after the categories that kind of summarizes your overall thoughts. Maybe with a recommendation on whether to buy it, rent it, etc.


    1. Screwing up Jack, yeah, I think that was probably a good way to put it. I was probably thinking that subconsciously, but I was also like, can’t be…it’s still Johnny Depp. He hasn’t forgotten how to do it, right?


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